Gosh! Is it just me or do you feel like Christmas is just a blink away! 64 days to be precise! I was reminded of this when trying to shop for some Thanksgiving décor. The items were no longer the focal point of the store but were off to the side in a discounted section. Oh my! My beloved pumpkins are already being crowded out by Gingerbread!
So this begs to ask the question…Are you ready?
By ready, I mean are you ready for family and all that entails? Are you ready for your adult children to be in their childhood rooms or perhaps not come home at all? If you are blessed enough, your adult children will be arriving, but things will certainly be different. As for me, I want my kids to be nestled in their childhood beds and things to be just as they were 10+ years ago. I miss the magical time of year when everyone was under one roof, decorating the tree while wearing Santa hats, setting up the nativity scene, making Christmas lists, and baking cookies. When the biggest debates on crisp December evenings were which holiday movie would be watched tonight. While those times weren’t always perfect, my mind only recalls those that were. Sometimes I yearn to go back. In discussing these emotions with friends and clients, I know I’m not alone. Things just seemed more rhythmic and predictable. I didn’t have to resort to the “Find My Friends” App to know that everyone was safe at home. Now, I do this with my parents as well! Oh…the middle years. Predictably unpredictable!
This season will surely take some navigating. I have some thoughts that I plan to implement with my adult children. Perhaps they will resonate with you.
Relations With My Adult Children Need To Be More About Them and Less About Me
For so long, I was clinging too tightly to the traditions that my husband and I created and then my feelings would be hurt when things changed. When I focus on accommodating my children and their hectic schedules, my home seems happier and they are so much more appreciative.
Remember to Hold Plans Loosely So Those New Traditions Can Be Created
Last year, we went to my son and daughter in-law’s new home and that was wonderful! Ironically, we were the ones who slept in my son’s childhood bed.
The Parenting Role Has Shifted
While we are always parents, we must do our best to discontinue parenting. If we want our adult children to spend time with us and genuinely like being around us, we must remove our “parenting hat”. Of course, this is a process and it won’t happen overnight, but you might be surprised how much more you are invited around when you surrender your authoritative role.
Now, I Have Some Questions For You?
What is your biggest fear in letting them fly?
What does the bible say about parenting?
Would you like your relationships to go from frustrating to flourishing?
How might a community of like-minded women help you in your journey?
If the questions above made you pause and ponder, perhaps our new Coaching Group might be perfect for you! In November, Unique Paths Coaching is launching a Virtual Group called "Harmonious Home for the Holidays". This group will be limited to 6 like-minded women. Please schedule a FREE Discovery Call or email firstname.lastname@example.org and we would be happy to send you more info!
Praying for a blessed holiday season for you and your family.