How many of you remember Vaurnet sunglasses? These were the cool glasses in the 70’s and 80’s. Like any trend, they made you feel cooler just by wearing them. Where I grew up, skiing was a big sport. While I never gravitated to this activity, many of my friends and family enjoyed a sunny day on the slopes. Personally, I dreaded it. I’m a beach not a mountain person. I was told this was a sport that one must learn if you lived in the Central Valley of California, where skiing was only an hour away. Well…I despise being cold and I’m not a thrill-seeker. I’m too cautious and practical to barrel down a mountain at crazy, uncontrolled speeds. BUT my Vaurnet’s made me at least look like a skier. My Dad was not a skier, but he wanted his kids to have life experiences. I know that now, but at the time I was resentful. You see, my father grew up in a big family that functioned at the poverty line. He was a dreamer and a doer. When unexpected things happened in life, he would say, “life stinks and then you lose your Vuarnets”. Basically, this was his way of telling us that sometimes things go from bad to worse, but his delivery made you feel like this too shall pass.
This past December I lost my dad. I miss his quirky sayings, resiliency, and his zest for life. Father’s Day will be hard this year, I used to dread these forced obligatory celebrations. Thinking, shouldn’t we honor our dad’s all the time? As a coach, I find myself wondering what kind of questions my dad might ask when I’m in certain situations. He loved to sit down and process with my brother and I. Always challenging our thinking or perspective. Unlike a coach, he did offer his opinions and recommendations and would clearly be disappointed if we didn’t follow his direction. For what it’s worth, this is how I will choose to spend my Father’s Day.
Perhaps, for those who have lost their earthly dad, you can use some of these tools too.
Reflect – think about the past Father’s Days. What quirky memories come up for you? What fun family traditions would you like to continue?
Remember – allow yourself to experience the moments and process through them. Sit with your Heavenly Father and allow Him to bring up some joyful memories. Even if your earthly father is gone or you are estranged, you will always have your Heavenly Father who is here and near. What comes up for you as you sit at the foot of Jesus? What is He revealing?
Reconcile – many have unhappy childhood memories of their dad. Allow God to work in your heart. He doesn’t want you to carry around hurt, anger, or bitterness. What hurt is He wanting you to let go of? What do you need to forgive?
Later in my dad’s life he would still use the Vuarnet saying, but his grandchildren never quite understood. So, like any good mom, I updated his saying, “life stinks and then you lose your Ray Bans”. At times, life does stink, its only when you allow yourself to stay stuck in the “stinky-ness” that you lose hope. If you have lost your proverbial “Vuarnets” or “Ray Bans” and can’t seem to find your way, perhaps a coach can help! Please reach out for a complimentary 30-minute Discovery Call. Let’s see if we can’t help you find a replacement pair of “sunglasses”. After all, they are necessary for the bright sunny days ahead!